Mark Twain Quotes

Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.

Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.


Buy land, they're not making it any more.


Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.


Never pick a fight with someone who buys ink by the barrel.

Ah, well, I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God’s fool, and all His work must be contemplated with respect.


I would rather have my ignorance than another man’s knowledge, because I have so much more of it.

I can live for two months on a good compliment.

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

I am not one of those who in expressing opinion confine themselves to facts.

A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience,
and the prudence never to practice either.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it a thousand times.

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.

It ain't what you don't know that gets you in trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.

'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.